She asked for help but Natania ran out of hope and time

She asked for help but Natania ran out of hope and time

2 April 2014

NATANIA Hagen was a highly intelligent and perceptive young woman. So much so, she knew she wasn’t getting the help she desperately needed.

Despite the outgoing, bubbly persona, the 27 year-old suffered from anxiety and depression, conditions which ultimately led to her taking her own life.

There had been a number of short-term solutions over the years but she knew the long-term specialist treatment she was on a waiting list for was up to a year away.

It was something that she railed against, expressing her frustration to her family and on social media. A talented musician, keen sportswoman and academic high flier, Natania wanted to get better, but she died on the Killyleagh shore close to her home on January 25.

Her devastated family now want to be her voice, highlighting the inadequacies of mental health care provision in Northern Ireland and offering a message of hope for other young people in the area.

Natania’s sister Lorna McCormick speaks with pride as she remembers her baby sister, the seventh sibling and late addition to the family, who was adored and “spoilt rotten”.

“She was the first to get into Down High School in our family,” said Lorna.

“When she did her GCSEs she did very well, all these A stars and As, with hardly any revision.

“She was the under 15 ladies all-Ireland schools javelin champion and was capped by the under 19 Ulster cricket team. She was also a gifted footballer who played for Killyleagh ladies. She excelled in everything she did but most people knew her for her music. My daughter Jade, who is only a couple of years younger than Natania, remembers them coming home together on the bus, when Natania would bring out her guitar and have the whole bus singing along to Alanis Morrisette.”

Natania appeared to have a busy and fulfilling life ahead, but mental health problems had begun surfacing in her mid teens.

“Around the age of 14 she just started getting anxious about things, she could not travel,” said Lorna. “She started self harming, cutting herself. She was very reluctant to travel out of Killyleagh.

“But she was such a bubbly character. She was the one who comforted people when they were down.”

Natania took a foundation degree in music at the University of Cumbria but only completed the first year due to her anxiety. She found the prospect of employment afterwards difficult.

“I did not really understand how bad she was,” said Lorna. “She obviously did suffer inside more than I realised. That makes me feel guilty. I looked after elderly people and adults with learning disabilities and I could help them. I couldn’t help my own sister.

“She did, however, take up voluntary work with Tools for Solidarity, an organisation that refurbishes tools and sewing machines to be used in Africa, and that did give her confidence.”

Recalling the night two months ago that she received a message to say Natania couldn’t be found, Lorna said: “Initially I thought she had gone for a walk. Later on I just remember us all around the shore waiting, and the police going over to mummy and daddy.

“Seeing your parents having to lean over their daughter like that.... the baby of the family, absolutely adored.”

The grief is raw, especially as Natania’s suicide came as a shock to her family. Despite her troubles, she always talked to her mum and dad, Lorna explained, and she had a tight knit, loving family around her who would have done anything to help.

“She was in our house a few days before she died, talking away about the football season starting,” said Lorna. “On the day itself she had been laughing and joking with my parents.”

Lorna said Natania had been out for a few drinks with a friend the evening she took her own life, and that some kind of “imbalance” must have led to the spur of the moment decision.

Despite their devastation Natania’s family want something positive to come from her death — a better support system for the mentally ill and the stigma surrounding suicide removed.

“This new treatment Natania was to get — Dialectical Behaviour Therapy — would have been for a full year twice a week,” said Lorna. “But she was going to have to wait six months to a year. She had had help before but it was only recently she was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. She had recently seen a psychiatrist, though she had seen psychologists before. A psychiatrist was more in line with what she needed.

“We want to get Natania’s voice out there very strongly. She was intelligent, so highly intelligent she knew the system was wrong.

“She felt the mental health services let her down. It was the waiting lists. You need the help there and then, not six months down the line.

“Natania was doing everything in her power to help herself.”

Lorna said she had not been aware of the high suicide rate among young people in Down until tragedy struck her own family. She hopes talking about it openly will help other young people and their families open up to each other.

“Not everyone wants to talk about it, some people maybe feel ashamed,” she said. “They may feel embarrassed, but the more people talk about it the less suicide we will have.

“I think too often young people in Natania’s situation feel they don’t want to be a burden on their families and loved ones. My message to them is talk to someone.

“And to parents, keep talking to your children. I am a great believer in hugs. Since all this happened people have been so kind, stopping me in the street hugging me, genuinely upset. We had been looking at houses in Belfast recently but now we want to stay in Killyleagh.”

As well as improvements to mental health care provision Lorna hopes to see more out of hours support.

“Many people with depression have their serious problems at night and they do not want to wake anyone,” she said. “I know FASA (the Forum For Action On Substance Abuse), which doesn’t just deal with substance abuse, is looking into developing a night time -in centre.

“Natania knew she was loved. She could have come to any of us and she didn’t.”

In her memory, Natania’s family and friends have so far raised over £2,500 for the PIPS suicide prevention charity and Tools for Solidarity. They also hope to put together a CD of Natania’s songs, some of which she wrote herself, as part of their continuing fundraising efforts.

In the meantime, donations can be made via the Just Giving website (search for Natania Hagen) at www.justgiving.co.uk. Natania’s family would also like to draw attention to the following helpline numbers: Lifeline 0808 8088000 and FASA 028 9080 3040.