Dromara mum’s drive to honour beloved son

Dromara mum’s drive to honour beloved son

20 February 2013

IN his last minutes Dariush Mehrtash was still cracking jokes and doing his best to raise his family’s spirits.

It must have seemed that the teenager who had quietly battled a rare bone cancer condition for three years was invincible — but the disease finally claimed the sports loving “gentleman”.

It is over a year since Dariush passed away at the age of 17, and only since June that friends, family and acquaintances started to fund-raise in his memory.

The short period of time makes the £45,000 gathered even more impressive — the Bone Cancer Research Trust and the Northern Ireland Cancer Fund For Children at Shimna Valley in Newcastle being the beneficiaries.

But raising awareness is what mother Mauritia Mehrtash really wants to do — having found dealing with a child with a rare cancer an isolating and frustrating process.

“I had to do my own research,” she said. “Dariush had Osteosarcoma, a rare bone cancer which affects one in 1.2 million. It mostly affects teenagers during growth spurts, particularly boys.

“It is one of the rarest cancers, along with Ewing’s Sarcoma. Most cases are diagnosed when a child breaks an arm, for instance.”

In Dariush’s case, the 14 year-old, a keen Gaelic footballer and athlete, initially appeared to have a sports injury.

“He had a bit of a limp for three weeks, but he never complained. He was such a strong, well built fellow. That was the last thing I imagined.”

When eventually diagnosed, Mauritia had to marry her shock with the distressing realisation that “nobody knew anything about it”.

“It was left to me to research this because it was so rare,” she said. “I was on the internet trying to see what kind of options there were.

“I am a district nurse in Castlewellan and Newcastle. It is something you do not expect to have to do.

“The only ones doing research into it are the Bone Cancer Research Trust. A lady from Sligo who works with the UK charity was in touch and the Northern Ireland Cancer Fund for Children were a great support for me. It wasn’t Dariush’s thing, though. Everyone has their own way.”

And it is managing services for that difficult period of adolescence that Mauritia, who now lives in Dromara after moving from Newcastle, hopes to see better addressed by the health service in the future.

“There is a very big gap there from child to adult,” she said. “The Department of Health is carrying out a review of health services for children and young people in Northern Ireland, with a specific review of palliative care. There is a strategy for adults but not for children, and I am contributing to this.”

Mauritia explained that they were initially hopeful Dariush would recover following chemotherapy and surgery in 2009, which saw him out of school for the year, and return to repeat the year in 2010.

“He was only back three weeks when they discovered the cancer was now secondary,” she explained. “He continued to go to school through September and October, waiting for lung surgery, which is where the cancer had spread to. It was so aggressive, though, they could not really keep abreast of it.”

Mauritia is unsure what her son’s chances ultimately would have been, but the disadvantages of a lack of awareness of the disease and having to research and press for the latest treatments are hurdles she wants to remove for any other families affected by this cancer.

“It is the last thing you think your child will go through,” she said. “I just want people to be aware, for instance, not to ignore any injuries.

“It has been an epic year it terms of fundraising; it has taken a lot of organisation and time but it has been well worth it. £25,000 will fund one entire research project for bone cancer with some over for the next. You just hope this will help some other families.”

Mauritia acknowledged that this busy period has helped her with her grief. Despite outward appearances, and a sense of humour she has managed to retain, she says she is not as strong as she seems.

“I am not, I am not,” she said. “Every day it is very difficult but there is nothing you can do about it, you just have to keep going.”

Sustained by happy and proud memories of her son, Mauritia tried to explain how Dariush, who was involved in athletics, played football for Dromara GAC and was a member of St. Colman’s College MacRory Cup squad, was both a fun loving and quiet teenager.

“Dariush was a really remarkable person, totally unbelievable,” she said. “He was an inspirational person, and there were many he touched in his short life. He was very helpful, very giving to people, and the number of people who came to his funeral was just unbelievable.

“Neighbours he would have seen regularly weren’t even aware he was ill he didn’t really talk about it.

“He had a wee girlfriend, he did his driving test, he went out every weekend, carrying his oxygen tank in his car. He was amazing, he lived life right to the end.

“He was laughing 10 minutes before he died, through it all he continued the jokes.”

Among those also left mourning Dariush are his father Anoosh and brothers and sisters Aryan (13), Keyon (15) and Sarina (8).

“I just need to take time to be with them now,” said Mauritia. “It’s been an big year in terms of fundraising. It started with some friends wanting to do the Newry City Marathon and snowballed from there.”

Among the many events was a charity walk and barbecue at Shimna Valley on October 14, to mark what would have been the teenager’s 18th birthday.

“He had everything going for him in his life and he did nothing to draw attention to himself,” said Mauritia in conclusion. “He was a wee gentleman.”

■ Mauritia wants to thank everyone who helped with, donated to or supported their fundraisers, including Eimear Murphy and the Murphy family, local businesses, and those involved in bag packing and street collections in Newcastle and Downpatrick. Included are St. Joseph’s Primary School, Carnacaville, St. Colman’s College, Newry, St. Michael’s GAC, Dromara, the District Nurses and staff of Newcastle and Castlewellan Community Service, Paula McKibben of the Donard Group Practice, The Burrendale Hotel, Stephen Knight, Wraps, Newcastle and the Anchor Bar, Newcastle.