I love Jam ‘n’ Iré – it is my safe space – all the children have skin like me

I love Jam ‘n’ Iré – it is my safe space – all the children have skin like me

15 February 2023

A COMMUNITY social group set up in Downpatrick almost two years ago consisting of families of mixed heritage children is going from strength to strength.

Anne and Stephanie Laird-Arnold identified a complete lack of support and knowledge in Northern Ireland for children resulting from mixed heritage relationships and set up Jam ’n’ Ire.

The group was established after their six year-old son began to recognise that he was different to his peers both in school and the wider community and struggled to understand where he fitted in and why his appearance was different from all of his friends.  

He became quite anxious and depressed, displayed panic disorder and regularly questioned why he was different. Anne and Stephanie correctly identified the need for their son to spend time with other children who looked like him.  

In July 2021, three mixed heritage families met in Dunleath Park simply to allow the children time to play together and the impact was immediate. 

Anne and Stephanie recognised the need in Northern Ireland for a group where children could experience this on a regular basis. Word began to spread through social media and newspaper articles. A Facebook group was launched and Jam ‘n’ Iré was born.

Fast forward to now and Jam ‘n’ Iré now has a membership of 106 families from across Northern Ireland. 

Monthly face-to-face meetings are held all over the country and Jam ‘n’ Iré is a constituted organisation with a voluntary committee to organise the events. It has its own bank account for donations and funding and is developing educational resources for parents and schools, with statutory services approaching Jam ‘n’ Iré for information and support.

In order to ensure all mixed heritage families are included, a yearly programme of events celebrating the differing cultures of members was produced.  

Events celebrating the Chinese New Year, Mardis Gras, Earth Day, Jamaican Independence Day, World Peace Day and Black History Month took place as well as workshops involving music, art, food, cultural writing and hair care.  

Naturally, the children benefit simply from being together and recognising similarities, however, Jam ‘n’ Iré is also taking on the role of educating and empowering them.

The group’s secretary —  a teacher with over 20 years’ experience — delivered a workshop to the children on why their skin and hair was different to most of the people in Northern Ireland and this led the way to open and frank discussions with the children and their parents regarding the subtle racism experienced on an daily basis.

Elevate (Community Building and Capacity Building Programme) provided the group with a £5,000 grant to facilitate and support its aims and one identified need was hair care. 

A workshop was held in Bangor last November to support parents and children with the daily routine required to manage mixed hair and one message that came out loud and clear was that children with afro hair hate it being touched without permission.  

During the day, multiple people will touch those with afro hair from classmates to teachers, strangers, friends and family.

Jam ’n’ Ire says it wants to shout the message loud and clear that it is not okay to touch someone’s hair without permission, explaining this has become a goal for the group, with one workshop having already taken place in a P1 class, with hopefully more to follow.

Amongst other things, the grant from Elevate also funded a Christmas party with tee-shirts, books, jewellery and treats which was attended by a record number of families. 

Future events funded include online workshops for Jam ‘n’ Iré teens and a residential open to all members in April.  On top of this, the group enjoys local community support from Asda and The Downpatrick Men’s Club.

Parents who are members of Jam ’n’ Ire say they enjoy being part of the group, with one explaining she saw her sons’s confidence grow in the space of just one afternoon.

“I think it dawned on me, the potential challenges my baby may face growing up and I appreciate the folk who shared their own personal stories and experiences and also those who gave me huge big hugs right when I needed one,” the parent continued.

“What a wonderful environment to empower our young kids and to support each other as mixed heritage parents. The power of support is real.”

Another parent said she was able to take a picture of her child with a “full beautiful smile” for the first time in nearly three years which was down to other children helping him see he is not on his own and that he has an amazing Jam ’n’ Ire family behind him.

The parent added: “It was an amazing day, very emotional the impact the group is having on every family that walks thought the door. It’s such a great group and everyone feels so comfortable and safe. That type of environment makes a wonderful basis for sharing and learning from each other.”

“We often discuss identity and heritage with our son but any talk is mostly within the confines of our family. Since joining Jam ‘n Ire, his self-confidence has just exploded and we want to thank the Jam ‘n Ire family for all the love shown to him over the past few months.”

And children also love being an integral part of the Jam ’n’ Ire family.

“I love Jam ‘n’ Iré.  It is my safe space”, said one 11 year-old, while a three year-old added: “All the children have skin like me.”