Courage and dignity after a tragedy

Courage and dignity after a tragedy

26 September 2012

THOUSANDS of mourners bowed their heads in silence on Wednesday as three bereaved Spence women left Ballynahinch Baptist Church to bury the much-loved men of their family.

Wife and mother Essie, sisters and daughters Laura and Emma, and wife Andrea, tearfully led the triple cortege along Lisburn Road as 58 year-old Noel and his sons Graham (30) and Nevin (22) were brought to their burial place.

Thousands of mourners, who overflowed into the church car park on the beautiful September day to show their solidarity with the bereaved women, joined in the uplifting hymn chosen for the final walk to Lough Inch cemetery I Will Fly Away. The number of mourners and their respect throughout the proceedings were testament to the high esteem in which the three men were held throughout the community and the way in which their untimely deaths have touched so many.

Wednesday’s funeral brought some closure to the tragic news story of the three men who died during a typical Saturday evening on their dairy farm, an evening which took a terrible turn when they were overcome with slurry fumes while trying to save at first a puppy and then each other.

But as the news story fades, it is only the beginning of a long, perhaps unending, process of mourning for the family and friends of the three men, who were so lovingly described by Emma Rice, speaking on behalf of her mum, sister and sister-in-law during the funeral service, as “good and genuine.”

At Wednesday’s thanksgiving service, Emma, who almost lost her own life trying to help her dad and brothers in the farming accident, bravely spoke to mourners in a touching and sometime humorous address about her 58 year-old dad with his “striking blonde hair” that she suggested was the envy of many women, her quiet brother Graham, who lived for his wife Andrea, his “princess” daughter Georgia and his “wee mate” Nathan, and of course her baby brother Nevin, a rising name in Irish rugby, who she admitted the family had jokingly nicknamed the “superstar.”

“They were good, they were hard working men,” she said.

“They were not perfect, but they were genuine.

“They were best friends, they were Godly men.

“They did not talk about God, they just did God.

“They were ordinary men, but God made them extraordinary.”

Although, as Emma suggested, the three Spence men were private about their faith, during the service it became clear Ballynahinch Baptist Church was central to all of their lives.

Pastor Rodney Stout said the trio were not the “sort of Christians who pushed their beliefs onto others” even though he said they were each rock-solid and immovable in their faith.

He revealed that Graham had first “spotted” his future bride at the Ballynahinch church.

“Graham confessed to Andrea he had been watching her from afar and knew he would make her his wife,” he said.

“They have been inseparable from that time and she counts it a wonderful privilege to have been married to such a loving man. He has left a wonderful legacy of memories.”

Pastor Stout said Nevin had been equally involved in church life and just the week before his death he had taken part in a local course encouraging people to explore life through Christianity.

He said Nevin, who played for Ballynahinch Rugby Club, whose members were among the congregation, and who had been tipped to play rugby for Ireland, had been asked to pick an adjective to describe himself as part of the course and said he had chosen “normal.”

“That is how he viewed himself,” he said.

“He attributed his ability to keep his feet on the ground directly on his relationship with God through Jesus Christ.”

Pastor Stout then joked that if members of the congregation had heard Nevin’s self deion as “normal” it could have led to an easy nickname among his fellow churchgoers — “Normal Nev.”

It seems Noel Spence would have most enjoyed the light banter that made up some of Wednesday’s thanksgiving service, particularly the joke about his youngest son Nevin and the potential for his rebranding as Normal Nev.

For Emma told mourners her dad, the head of the Spence household, had his own habit of nicknaming everyone he met.

“He greeted you with a thump on the arm,” she said.

“He then christened you with a nickname no matter who you were.”